Question: I’m engaged and my wedding date is 3 months from now. I think I’m making a huge mistake. I’m in love with someone else. But he’s an artist and doesn’t have stable work. Choosing him means choosing a life where I don’t know what will happen. But I adore him and our connection is unmatched. My fiancee is “steady”. There’s no doubt that I will have that perfect life with him and my parents will be thrilled. But as the wedding date gets closer and closer, I’m getting more and more freaked out. What do I do?? How embarrassing to have to call off my wedding!
Answer: You walk away from your fiancee and choose love my dear.
You don’t “think” you’re making a huge mistake, you know you are. You’re just too scared to do anything about it. Don’t blame yourself for that. It is in our nature to be scared of change. To be nervous about the unknown. We all want to be able to predict the future and prepare for what lie ahead. And while being able to map out your life, before it starts, may sound convenient how BORING does that make your future??
Choosing this man you described as “steady” thrills your parents but YOU are miserable. It’s not your parents that marry him. It’s you that has to wake up next to this man every day for the rest of your life and if the thought of that doesn’t thrill YOU then he isn’t the one for you.
Do not kid yourself. Your future will not be perfect by choosing him. There is no such thing as perfect. Relationships, marriage, building a life with someone is hard fucking work. You want to find a partner that you WANT to go through the trenches with. You want to be linked to someone that no matter how terrible things may seem at times, there is no one else you would rather be facing it with. It should be the man that elicits feelings of mind-blowing love and happiness, not nausea.
Embarrassing is not calling off your wedding. Embarrassing is standing up in front of your entire family, and God, lying to everyone about how happy you are. The time it takes to call of your wedding will be a blip in the course of your life. It will be a brief moment in time where you chose you instead of the opinions of others.
Choose love always. Maybe the artist isn’t where you need him to be now. Maybe he needs time or maybe he winds up choosing another career. Following your heart will mean following an unclear path. But it will be exciting, full of love and passion and the security will be found in knowing you chose YOU.
Always choose YOU.
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Solstice means “standing of the sun” and we can connect to this great turning point in the earth’s yearly cycle by taking a moment to stop, be still and look back at our own unique journey since the winter solstice. We can use this time to focus on what we wish to nurture and develop in ourselves during the coming months. The summer solstice is a doorway into the second half of the year, energizing the paths that lead within. Stand on the threshold and ask yourself what you wish to encourage in your life?
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Question: I’ve been suspecting that my man is cheating on me so I went through his phone. I found dozens of flirty text messages between him and the same chick. So I called her and told her exactly what I thought about her scandalous behind. She says they’ve been sleeping together for months. When I confronted him, he admitted it but he says she’s crazy and won’t leave him alone. He says she’s chasing him! How do I get rid of her?? I love him.
Answer: Shouldn’t you be asking me how do you get rid of HIM? Let’s be clear here. No one is CHASING your man. He is involved willingly. She is only doing what he is allowing. She may very well be “scandalous” but so is the man you’re in love with.
This women doesn’t owe you a thing. She’s not involved with you. She doesn’t even know you. And you have no idea what he has been telling her. My guess is, it’s a completely different story than he’s telling you!
You said you found flirty text messages BETWEEN he and this woman. Between means he’s writing back. No one forced him to respond. You didn’t say you found messages to your man and him asking to be left alone. Last time I checked there was a little thing called number blocking. If he really wanted her to stop, a quick call to his cell phone provider would handle that! Or just simply not responding.
Don’t let him fool you with the “she’s crazy” line. She’s not crazy. Even if she is, he likes it or else he wouldn’t be sleeping with her.
Let’s stop acting like these men are helplessly wandering the earth being raped and pillaged by horny ho’s. He made a choice. And he made that same choice over and over again. Stop worrying about her. Make the decision that you are better than his bullshit and leave him. Or accept that he’s a cheater and stop looking through his phone. If you’re going to stay, don’t stay and be nuts. Don’t be the chick calling other women and inviting drama into your life. By choosing to stay with him, you’re inviting all the drama you need anyway.
You have great intuition. You thought he was cheating and you were right. My only wish for you is to use that intuition for good! Trust your gut that you deserve better. Believe that voice telling you there is someone better out there. Even if that “someone” is just you for a while..
I wish you the best honey…cause there is so much good love out there waiting for you.
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