I was in a relationship for years with a man that abused me. I have no one to blame but myself for staying as long as I did. I honestly believed him every time he said he would never do it again. I finally left him and have been single for about a year. I want to be in a relationship now. I keep trying to start dating but I’m finding it really really hard to trust men again. I’ve met some great guys but I wind up pushing them away. HELP
You are an amazingly strong woman. Walking away from someone you love, no matter what the circumstances is one of the hardest choices to make. And leaving someone who has used abuse to control you takes an incredible amount of courage and you should be commended for that! I am proud of you.
As far as dating goes, if you are finding it hard to trust again then you’re not ready. Too many people jump from pain to pain to pain without doing the work necessary on themselves first. What he did to you was deplorable and karma will come for him. But the next man didn’t hit you and doesn’t deserve to be punished for what your ex did.
It is not up to the good guys trying to become a part of your life to heal you. Nor should they have to deal with a woman assuming they’re about to do something that has never even crossed their mind.
In the grand scheme of life, a year of singledom is NOTHING! Get to know yourself. Spend time alone or with family and friends who love and support you. Finding a man should not be your focus. Your focus should be loving yourself. A painful truth is that when we don’t love ourselves we find ourselves with people who aren’t capable of loving us either. If you want to attract the man that treats you like the Queen you are, you have to believe that you deserve it.
Step back from looking for a man, straighten your crown, and allow the right man to come looking for YOU.