She Wants A Threesome

Question:

I have been dating my girlfriend for about 6 years. We both just turned 33, and recently she asked me what I think about us trying a threesome with another man. I’m not into it. And I never would have thought she would have been the type to be into it either. I love her, I want to keep her happy and I don’t want to lose her. What do I do?

Answer:

My honest answer is I think your lady is becoming bored.It is rare that a woman steps outside of her relationship for purely sexual reasons.I am ALL about keeping your honey happy but you may want to try taking her on a nice vacation or purchasing a sex swing or something before you introduce a man that may just show you up!

Now there are exceptions to every rule, but usually women begin to look elsewhere when emotionally they’re not getting what they need. (Men tend to look elsewhere when the wind blows against their pants) So first, I would take a long look at your relationship and see if you guys have become complacent when it comes to romance. It’s normal over time, but it may be time for a relationship re-haul. Begin to date her again, take her to nice places and buy her flowers. Talk to her,really talk, face to face. Stop sitting next to each other on the couch as you both text your friends. Tell her she looks beautiful. Ask her questions about her day and actually pay attention to the answers. You get my drift…

Now if that doesn’t work and she’s still giving googly eyes to the Fed Ex guy, then your sex life has gotten dull sir. Get some toys! Learn a new trick. Stay away from porn, real women rarely like those moves. But figure out how to please her a whole new way.

I do not suggest bringing another man into your bedroom if you’re not into it. Have you really thought about what it’s going to be like watching another man do what apparently you are not? Yup. Not a good image.

Tell her you’ll think about it and use your time wisely. If you love this woman and want to keep her all to yourself, then get to work on keeping her heart AND her vagina happy 🙂

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Do you have a question you’d like some help with? Email me at askbliss@yahoo.com

Your identity will be kept private.

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You Are More Important Thank You Think

A lovely young woman sent in a question to me at askbliss@yahoo.com. She asked that I not post her question but share my answer only. She has a friend whose father is passing away from Cancer. She is feeling lost as to how to help her girlfriend out. But more importantly she is wondering if she can be of any help at all…

Here is my response…

To the friends of Caregivers…

You are more important than you think. It was the love and support of my friends that saved my life.

Before I became a Caregiver, my friends consisted of a large group of people who I partied with.”Friends” was a term thrown around loosely and given to anyone I saw on a regular basis. When I became a Caregiver, most of those “friends” disappeared. Life for me was no longer one big party and I wasn’t able to be the fun girl anymore. My life was sad. I was sad. And I was struggling with how to adapt to my new role. The people who remained became my life line.

Friends who called and left messages when they knew I wouldn’t pick up, but at some point I would need to hear their voice. Friends who would text, “I love you” in the middle of the day and were okay with not receiving a response because they knew I was dealing with something greater. Friends who would drive hours from other states just to simply sit with me and watch t.v. because they understood I didn’t want to leave my mother alone in the house. It was friends who dropped off food so I didn’t have to use what little energy I had left to cook. And it was friends who listened to me sob on the phone, as I watched my mother die, and cried with me. It’s my friends who send cards on each anniversary of her passing. It’s friends who know how hard Mother’s day is and who, even though they are mothers now themselves, take time to call me and ask how I am. It is because of this wonderfully amazing group of women that I am able to live a happy life now. Because when I was at my lowest, and I didn’t think I could go on, it was them who reminded me how much I had to live for.

I owe everything to my friends. To these fantastic women who are now my family. As a friend to a Caregiver, you are what keeps them going. It’s you that is the bright spot in an otherwise dark day. It’s knowing that they have YOU that helps them to not feel alone. Do not underestimate your role in what your friend is facing. You are more important than you think.

Thought of the Day

Hello Blissed Ones!

A thought of the day for you…

I am beginning a 21 day detox tomorrow and so I thought I would bring you all along on this journey with me.

I will still be answering the questions you send to askbliss@yahoo.com but I will also be chronicling what it is like to do a complete body reset in 21 days.

Outside of this blog, I work as a Holistic Life Coach, a Yoga teacher and the Director of Health Programming for a Miami Sports Wellness Center. Wellness is not just my job, but my life. That being said, mama LOVES her wine and her sugar! I’ve been known to make a baguette and a block of brie cheese my dinner and I’m no stranger to laying in bed with a bag of chips. (WHYYYYYY are they so good???)

Yes, 85% of my diet is healthy, and soul nourishing, but the other 15% is straight out of a movie about a single girl and her cat 🙂

Once a year, I find it serves me well to do what I call an “organ reset”. I cut out sugar, processed foods, dairy, gluten and grains. This year, I am also cutting out wine. GASP!!!

I don’t know about you, but as a social 34 year old, wine is pretty much a staple in my life. The problem is, it’s also a staple in my liver and the poor thing needs a break.

I don’t think this is going to be easy. I actually think it’s going to be pretty miserable for the first couple of days. This is why I’ve involved you! Giving advice is no problem. Giving up my vices can be and so I need all of you to keep me on track 🙂

Maybe some of you will want to join me!

Each day I will post the truth about how I am dealing with this detox. Each day I will also post what I will eat and drink the next day. Planning ahead here is the key, so let’s plan together. Feel free to use the comments section to post about your own struggles and accomplishments. The goal here is to get rid of the all the junk we ate over the summer and prepare the body for all of the amazing food we’re about to eat over the holidays!

Remember, it doesn’t matter how well we design our lives, if we aren’t healthy enough to enjoy it!

So….start doing your research! Start planning your meals! Tomorrow we begin

Did I Sleep With Him Too Soon?

Question:

I’m 36 years old. I have been on a string of terrible dates but I met a great guy recently. Trouble is I slept with him the first night. We’ve been together ever since but I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. Everyone says that a man won’t take you seriously if you sleep with him too soon? What do you think?

Answer:

Well you’re certainly not winning any awards for Nun of the Month 🙂 but I don’t think your relationship is doomed. There are SO many “rules” to dating! And women on the prowl will eat up every single one of them. Some of them like, “Don’t talk about how old your eggs are getting on the first date”, make sense. But most should be left back in the mess of your 20’s. By 36 your own internal compass should be so strong that you don’t need to concern yourself with what “everyone” is saying.

You followed your heart, or at least a very strong martini, and HELLO you’re still with him! Men are simple, if he thought you were a whore you’d be seeing him at 3am on a Saturday and that’s about it. You’re dating, which means he likes you. Case closed.

Your own hangups about what happened will sink your relationship. By believing that you did something that makes you unworthy of him, you will unwillingly present yourself as unworthy. And eventually your lack of self love will drive him away. He was attracted to your confidence and spontaneity. Go with it! Attempting to cover those fishnets with a Burka will get you nowhere but single honey!

Sometimes the greatest gifts lay just beyond the point of reason and ration. Enjoy that man and your new relationship! You deserve it. Believe that.

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Do you have a question you’d like some help with? Email me at askbliss@yahoo.com

Your identity will be kept private.

Like Putting IceCream On A Turd

Last night I took part in a Manifestation for Entrepreneurs workshop led by Lloyd Burnett. It was fabulous and he said something that stuck with me. “Affirmations, without self-work, are like putting ice-cream on a turd. The ice-cream may taste delicious but eventually it just tastes like a turd.”

Disgusting to think about, but true nonetheless. I myself have been guilty of this is in the past. Putting post-it notes around my house that say, “I am happy” “All is right in my world” etc… Listening to coaches who say to “wake up and before you open your eyes tell yourself how successful and wonderful you are” “You are filled with abundance”

For months on end I did this and wondered, “where was my blessing??” I was doing my affirmations. I had my visualization board where I could see it every day. I was smiling and looking for the rainbow in each storm. So why the hell wasn’t it working?

And then I started to think about what the voice inside of me was actually saying… I am a big believer in the LIKE ATTRACTS LIKE. You receive in life what you believe about yourself. So, I could smile at myself in the mirror every day and tell myself I was successful but if deep down my beliefs didn’t match that than I would keep attracting mediocrity.

I started to think about the lessons I had learned as a child about success. The conversations I overheard about how hard it was to make money. How difficult life was. The statements I had come to believe as true that told me that dreaming big was for those “other people”.

My inside voice wasn’t matching my outside voice and that’s why I was manifesting bullshit. It wasn’t until I began to acknowledge that inner voice, when I started to tell that little girl that it was okay to dream big and it wasn’t stupid to expect miracles. It wasn’t ridiculous to want better than my parents had. It didn’t make me a traitor to my family that I wanted to be different and dream bigger. It was okay to not fit in. I sat and wrote and cried and I realized that it was my own limiting beliefs that were limiting my life. I released that old pain and instantly my life began to change.

Lloyd Burnett reminded me last night that I was not alone in how I had been operating in my life. How many of you are surrounded by visualization boards and affirmations tapped to your bathroom mirror and yet life still looks exactly the same?

I urge you to look deeper. Write down your dreams and for each dream write down the fear that pops up with it. Don’t think too hard, just write. Acknowledge that fear. There is no shame in recognizing the negative. Accept that it’s something that is real for you and then make the decision to let it go. No need to over analyze or sign up for months of therapy now. Just see it, nod to it, and release it.

Looking for the rainbow in the storm is a wonderful way to live your life. But every once in a while, deal with the rain too. It’s the rain that reveals the rainbow anyway… Deal with your inner turd and then enjoy a REAL sundae. 🙂