He Says I’m Asking For Too Much

Question:

I have been dating a man for 6 months. I’m 34 years old and am at the point where I want to make sure he is serious about this before I continue to invest any more time. I thought things were going well but when I ask things of him, he’s starting to act annoyed. I don’t think it’s asking too much to stop face timing your female “best friend” every day. Or to post a picture of us every once in a while, on his social media, and not just his friends. Does he really need to be in the club every weekend without me? I think it’s normal to ask to be invited to work functions and family events. Recently he told me I was asking too much of him. Am I really??

Answer:

The problem here is NOT that you are asking too much of him. It’s that he is not capable of, and not willing, to give it to you. You’re not asking for him to scale Mt. Kilimanjaro in a thong while barefoot! You didn’t mention that you demanded he slaughter a baby calf in return for your love. You’re asking him to show his friends and his family that you matter. You’re asking him to let the other women in his life know that you are now a presence in his life. Honey, all you are asking for is to be respected and he is showing you that he doesn’t.

He’s not ready for a relationship. Not one that is about honestly and loyalty. I’m sure he likes you. He may even have very strong feelings for you. But none of those feelings are stronger than his need to be seen as a single and available man.

Please avoiding falling into the following trap so many of us fall into… You now know and understand that he’s not willing to claim you. So now you sit around with all of your friends coming up with excuses for him, thereby giving you an excuse to stay with his ass. Ladies, do these sounds familiar?, “He just doesn’t realize how good it’s going to be with me.” “He’s just scared and needs more time.” “He loves me, he just doesn’t need the whole world to know that.”

Believe me, we have ALL uttered one of those sad statements. And it is a rare woman that ends that story with, “And then he proposed.”

Who cares what his excuse is? Honestly. Let him take however long he needs to figure out that he is now a grown man and should be doing grown man things. You don’t need to ride his roller coaster of crazy until he gets there.

Move on. You will never have to ask the right man to show you off. The man who is ready, and available, will happily tell the world you are his.

Have more faith in yourself and your worth. Let this fool go.

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