Dear Kevin

Question:

A friend of mine told me about your blog. I’ve been following for a while now and I think it’s safe to say you are better with words than I am. And so, I want you to break up with my boyfriend for me 🙂 I’ve been dating this man for 7 months. We started off great, or so I thought, but it quickly became a situation where I was being used. He cheats on me but doesn’t realize that I know. He stopped taking me out about 2 months in and now only comes to my house, where I cook and he sits around. When we do go out, I find myself paying. The sex is good but it’s all about him ( if you know what I mean). The thing is he thinks he’s the shit! He’s sooooo good looking and he knows it. His ego shows through everything he does. Although writing to him is the easy way out, I don’t think he deserves a sit -down. Especially since I just found a pair of thot-like thongs in his hamper. Help me dump this loser. His name is Kevin.

Answer:

I actually LOVE doing this for friends and I gladly welcome the challenge! Sometimes when emotion is tied to things we can’t find our way out. That being said…you are a bit of a mess yourself and so it’s time to own up to your own role in this awful relationship as well.

Dear Kevin:

I am choosing to walk away from this relationship.

For once the following statement is true; it’s not you, it’s me. Yes, you are cocky and selfish. You are egotistical and narcissistic and you live by a set of rules that many would find immoral and cruel. You have spent the last 7 months wasting my time and draining me of both my energy and my bank account. Your sex game is decent but you should probably go back to the days when giving the woman an orgasm actually mattered to you.

I could keep going and behind your back, and to all of my girlfriends, I will. But the truth is, I am the one who allowed this nonsense. I was a mess and so I attracted a mess. I didn’t love myself enough and so I never asked you to step your game up. I didn’t think I was worthy to be with such a good-looking man and so I ignored the fact that you have zero depth. If I had entered this with respect for myself, I would have respected my vagina enough to not put it through the build up to nothing.

The great news is, that’s the old me! I’ve learned a lot during my time with you. Most importantly, I learned I’m too good for you. I am an incredible woman and I deserve an incredible man. You see? It’s not you. YOU are not my choice. I am. And I choose to walk away from what no longer makes sense.

Good luck to you and all that you do…

p.s Did i mention women like orgasms?

Sincerely,

The New Me

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Retire Your Teachers

Question:

I used to be a wild girl when I was younger. And I have dated almost every time of man there is. Now that I’m in my 30’s, I’ve evolved but the men in my life haven’t. Every time I look up, I’ve attracted another awful version of an ex. I don’t get it. What am I doing wrong?? I want to feel like my life, and myself, are moving forward.

Answer:

” You are the company you keep.” We all grew up hearing that and the older I get the more I realize how true it is. I find this to be even truer when describing the men I link my life to.

We all have pasts. We all have stories only certain people know and secrets we will take to the grave with us. And most of us have more than a few types of men that should be left in those wild 20’s. The cute but broke losers, the very sexy dumb guy with no goals (past the going to the gym), the one who hates authority and rules (who you had the best sex ever with), the man who knew everyone (and slept with them), the ex-con (don’t judge me 🙂 ), and let’s not forget the mean guy. That asshole that made you feel terrible but was so charming you fell for his “sorry” every single time. (ugh we can be so lame sometimes ladies)

What do all of these men have in common? They taught us a lesson. We walked away from them stronger and wiser. They were sent as teachers and at this point in your life they should be considered RETIRED teachers! If these types of men seem to be the only ones you’re attracting it’s because you haven’t learned your lesson yet. And it’s stopping you from leading the life that you desire.

If you had learned that you are beautiful, and valuable and worthy of a good man you’d be attracting them. If you had learned to set standards and stick to them you wouldn’t still be dating these men. And if you had done the self- work to learn to LOVE yourself you wouldn’t be writing to ask this question.

Stop dating for a while. Stop looking for a man. Spend some time figuring out why you subconsiously feel that these are the only types of men you deserve. Whatever it is, working on healing it and then let it go….become your own best teacher. Wrap up this lesson!