Accept The Fear

Question: I’m not happy in my life. I’m at a job I don’t like but I make good money. I’m with a man that’s sweet and caring but boring. I’ve lived in the same city now for years and the pace of it is stressing me out. I think I’m over it. In fact I think I’m over all of this. I want to start my own little art studio in a small town, but I’m terrified. I’m not in my 20’s anymore. I’m 37 years old. Who just walks away from their life? My gut is telling me I need a change but I’m too scared to make a decision. What do I do?

Answer: You know the saying, “There is nothing to fear in life but fear itself”? That bumper sticker is bullshit. There is LOTS to fear. There have been many times in my life, when my gut, or the voices in my head :), told me to walk away. From a relationship. From a friendship. From a job. Just this past January, I left a very well paying gig with no safety net. But I left because the environment was toxic and my gut told me that If I took the energy I was pouring into that awful situation and put it behind my passions I would succeed. And I did. Within a week.

But rainbows don’t happen without rain. When you choose to follow your dreams instead of working to make someone else’s happen, you choose to accept the fear.

  1. You will stress about money ALL the time. Even when you’re starting to get ahead, you will worry that it’s just good luck and you’re about to be broke again.
  2. You’re going to cry a lot. When you have those moments of realizing how unstable you’ve become and how you walked away from steady income and benefits you are going to lose your shit. Often.
  3. People who aren’t on your path, so that will be most of your friends and family, are going to think you’re going through some sort of crisis. They will urge you to date more, or adopt another cat or 2. Very few people will support you because they don’t understand you.

I’ll be honest. None of the above will change for a while. And even when you are living in your quiet idyllic town, and your art studio is full of paying customers, you will doubt yourself and your choices. But at some point, you’ll begin to relax. You’ll start to look around at your new town, and your new friends, and your new routine and you’ll realize you did it! You’ll look through your calendar and see a week of events and plans you’re excited about. You’ll go to bed exhausted, but elated because every tiring thing you did that day was something that was for your better good.

Leaving is going to be scary as shit my friend! But the end goal is so beautiful. Start by picking your location. Check out the art scene there. Go for a few days and just walk around. Envision what your life could feel like if that was your every day. And then just decide to do it! You’re already unhappy. You can stay where you are and continue to be bored by your life. Or you can decide you deserve better and take the steps needed.

You were right what you said. You’re not in your 20’s. You’re a grown ass woman who has the ability to take control of your life. YOU are in charge of you. And life is shorter than you think. Make it a good one…

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