Question: I’m 97% sure my boyfriend is cheating on me. For the last two years he’s been staying out later, not coming home some nights and smelling like perfume. He’s texting late at night. I mean the list goes on and on. The other night some chick called my phone from a blocked number and then hung up. I asked him about it and he told me I was being paranoid and that he’s just working late. I’ve been following him some nights and I haven’t caught him but my gut tells me he’s full of shit. Do I leave? Or do I wait until I have concrete evidence?
Answer: If ever, in your life, you find yourself typing the above paragraph. You are in a terrible relationship. Read that paragraph, as though it was a friend telling you her story, and think about what your advice to her would be. Remove the emotion from it and look at the facts.
I know confirming he’s a cheater would help to quiet that fear that you’re just being paranoid, but it doesn’t take away the fact that you two have such little trust that you are actually following him at night like some sort of deranged FBI agent fueled by rage and Rioja! There is nothing sexy about that honey. He’s either the kind of man whose giving you real reason to act crazy or he’s the kind of man that brings out the crazy in you. Either version is a man that’s bad for you.
You want to be with a man who makes you feel safe and protected. A man who looks after your heart and truly cares about your happiness. No man is perfect. But the perfect one for you won’t have you doing drive-by’s in your Honda.
Let this man go. Let him go to work or go to some woman’s house. But let him go. And you go take some time for yourself. Your nerves are probably shot. Take a girls trip and have some fun! You deserve it 🙂
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